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Archive for the ‘I am a fucking crazy person’ Category

Oh boy! Oh boy oh boy!

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Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Drama! Horror! Delusion! Illogic!

Wait. Hang on.

I’ve seen that name before.

It’s the Chin Man!

Two things make me sad here. Okay, lots of things make me sad, because I ran out of antidepressants yesterday (which also explains why this post is low on polysyllables and high on exclamation marks), but here are two of them: first, that Michael Hawkins abandoned that long-ago discussion just when it almost seemed to be getting somewhere. And second, that he has clearly learned nothing whatsoever in the interim.

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Written by Learn Hexadecimal

March 21, 2010 at 11:49 pm

I am a fucking crazy person.

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I even have a whole new category for it.

Here is something I need to say out loud:

When I do something that’s crazy, because I know it’s crazy, even though I don’t really feel like doing it, so that I can feel just that little bit more validated about how crazy I am, I am doing it because I’m crazy.

When I avoid doing something that’s crazy, because I know it’s crazy, even though I really really feel like doing it, so I can feel just that little bit less like I’m a freak who doesn’t deserve to live, I am avoiding it because I’m crazy.

They’re the same action. What matters is not whether I’m walking north or south on the road; what matters is that I’m on the road, and walking. And what I need to do isn’t head further south, or head further north, or (and this is much easier to do with your brain than with your feet) both at the same time; what I need to do is get off the fucking road.

Here is the blog that helped me to realize this crucial fact:

It is called Fugitivus, and although I can’t say I’ve enjoyed reading it, I recommend it wholeheartedly.

I haven’t forgotten about my last post, masterpiece of halfassery that it was. I’m just trying to figure out how to rewrite it so that someone might someday be inclined to follow its links.

Written by Learn Hexadecimal

September 15, 2009 at 12:58 am

Mad Pride, you say?

with 7 comments

Apparently, today is the first day of Mad Pride Week in Toronto. Or “MAD! Pride”, if you believe the first link. I prefer my insanity in title caps and without an exclamation mark, personally.

But shit, if it’s pride week for us crazy folks, I may as well come out of the attic.

I have clinical depression.

Please be warned that I’m going to discuss my illness in some detail here. If you have triggers relating to suicidal thoughts, this post is not for you. Read with caution. Thank you.

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Written by Learn Hexadecimal

July 13, 2009 at 9:00 pm