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Learn Hexadecimal

I said I would, didn’t I?

with 2 comments

Last post, I expressed a plan to make another post today detailing my responses to questions asked of me at Male Chauvinist Woman’s blog. In light of my recent discovery that she has banned me from that lofty venue, I’m certainly not going to be able to answer them any other way.

Once again, please be warned that there is discussion of rape both in this post and in many of the posts I link to throughout. Read with caution.

First, I’ll give you all a peek at the response I left for her on the post where she notified me of the ban.

Banned? Really?

I have never advised any woman to do anything that might endanger her. Your feats of illogic are as scintillating as ever.

Walled up in your little fortress of loathsome falsehoods, you will probably never realize how deeply ironic it is that you have banned me for endangering women of all things. By perpetuating every patriarchal myth you can scrape from the barrels of our culture, you are inflicting more harm than I ever have or ever will.

I sincerely hope that someday you realize how thoroughly counterproductive your words, and the principles behind them, are. If you intend to protect women, you have quite aggressively failed.

Until then, I will respect your ban, and this is the last comment I will try to post at your blog.

I’m pretty sure it speaks for itself. Onward, then.

Someone by the name of Evan wishes to speculate clumsily on my sexual orientation. I will answer this as it deserves: what the fuck do you care?

Oh, no, wait. It’s relevant to the subject at hand, if Evan has read my earlier statement concerning my respect for women’s boundaries; presumably, if I am homosexual, I find it particularly easy to refrain from having sex with women. Rest assured, Evan, I would treat a man in exactly the same way. Although there is probably a limited supply of men on this planet willing to remove their panties and then crawl into bed with me.

Reread that last sentence as many times as you like.

A second commenter, Da, wants to know just what my problem is with Male Chauvinist Woman’s original (vile, harmful, spectacularly ill-informed) post. Well, Da, if you’re not satisfied with my admittedly long-winded original response, I’ll address your question specifically.

What exactly was your disagreement with the original post? That the woman is not responsible for the situation that she put herself in?

There are very few circumstances under which any person is responsible for another person’s actions, and none of them apply in this case. Rapists are responsible for rape. Their victims are not. The whole point of rape, the reason why it’s such a goddamned awful thing, is that it denies the victim control over one of the most intimate, private experiences available to humanity. By definition, no one chooses to be raped.

So no, they’re not responsible for that situation, because they didn’t put themselves in it.

Male Chauvinist Woman also attempted to explain my views to Da. Needless to say, she got it wrong, but the nature of her mistake goes some distance towards explaining why she banned me from her blog.

As far as I can tell, LH’s contention is that women shouldn’t hesitate to put themselves in vulnerable, dangerous situations, because no decent human being would ever take advantage of them in such situations.

What they are supposed to do when people who are not “decent human beings” are around, he did not explain.

This is so far removed from the truth, I am at a loss to explain how anyone could arrive there from the things that I’ve said.

Luckily, I don’t have to, because Male Chauvinist Woman has repeatedly made it clear that she doesn’t read anything I say unless someone quotes it in her blog comments. A word of advice, ma’am, in the unlikely event that you’re reading this: before you try to explain someone’s words, you might want to read them first. That way, your explanation will have some basis in reality.

Allow me to delineate precisely what she got wrong.

A woman’s concern for her safety is her own. Whatever actions she takes to protect herself are up to her. As a man, I have no business telling women what they should or shouldn’t do in order to feel safer or be safer. If I can help, I’ll help, and the rest of the time I’ll shut the fuck up.

I am, however, fully entitled to address my fellow men on the subject of how not to be an abysmal bottom-feeding scumbag. Some time ago, I read a striking exhortation (thank you, Marbles, for linking it) on the subject of men, rape, and why we aren’t doing more to police one another. It is with this aim and this audience in mind that I say the things I’ve said about rape.

In case that wasn’t clear, let me restate it another way: When a man rapes a woman, it is the man’s behaviour that is the fucking problem. When I talk about men’s behaviour, and how specific actions do or do not conform to my personal moral standards, I am talking to men in the hope that my words might help to keep some of them from fucking up.

(Well, that and I’m just pissing into the wind because I have trouble keeping my mouth shut when I see people being wrong on the internet.)

The fact that MCW keeps trying to reinterpret my words as though they illustrate standards of female behaviour is a particularly insidious form of victim-blaming bullshit.


Written by Learn Hexadecimal

July 10, 2009 at 10:05 pm

2 Responses

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  1. Ah-HA!

    Teh feminists have so thoroughly skewed Hex’s sense of manhood, and the poor guy is just so confused, that he doesn’t even know that it’s not a good idea to piss into the wind!

    Now, Hex, now all your man cards are gone. You’ve got no choice left but to start wearing panties.


    July 11, 2009 at 4:37 am

    • Damn. I guess I’ll just have to borrow some from Marbles.

      Learn Hexadecimal

      July 11, 2009 at 11:02 am

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